


Tapping In

by orphan_account



Category: EastEnders
Genre: M/M, WIP
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2011-12-12
Updated: 2011-12-12
Packaged: 2017-10-27 06:16:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 967
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/292535
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This is how I see it...</p>
            </blockquote>





	Tapping In

**Author's Note:**

> Hmm, it has potential. I'll see about completing it some time.

 

Nice.  Very nice.  Completely straight, of course, had the pretty little princess girlfriend to show it too, but physically very much his type.  Wasn't quite sure what to make of him – seemed okay, quite friendly, but he wasn't really sure...

He seemed quite skilled at handling his mum, bit of a mummy's boy if he were any judge; seemed to get on quite well with his dad, but in his experience there was nearly always resentment there when the mum and the kid had a strong relationship, and mummy had a very strong personality (to put it kindly) more or less drowning the poor guy out most days.

He'd been somewhere – up North somewhere? - for a while, but seemed to be living with them now.  Hadn't really thought about it when he'd heard they had another, older son, really hadn't been expecting anything like that!

He'd been surprised when he started working at the unit, hair net on his pretty hair, quite happy to roll up his sleeves and muck in.  Although with his tyrant of a mother on the case probably no way not to!

Being around good-looking guys was something you just had to deal with, harder when they were gay, but this guy wasn't gay and besides he was off-limits in other ways.  

Hadn't ever slept with an Asian guy before – attracted yes, god yes - but there'd never been the opportunity and the ones he'd met who were out and proud had all been...well a bit camp - like they were compensating for something.  He'd noticed that with some black guys too – when they were camp they were screaming – as if they were making a point of thumbing their noses at their communities who for the most part – in his experience and from what he'd heard – were pretty homophobic.

He personally couldn't abide camp – when it was real, not put on for a laugh, a 24/7 kind of deal.  He liked guys – black, white, Asian, Chinese...  but they had to be guys, not flaming queens!

And the truth was he was getting a bit tired of the scene, seemed to keep meeting the same type of shallow wanker – fine for one night, but one nighters were fast losing their appeal.  Not that he was looking for Mr. Right – actively, anyway – but he was aware that something inside him wanted a change, was desperate for a change – something deep, real, meaningful.

Knowing his luck it was probably waiting for him up North or even abroad.  What was sure was that he wasn't going to be finding it here in bloody Walford!

**

It was quite hard to know exactly _how_ to interact with him.  

The first surprise had been that he was gay, the second that his parents seemed okay with him being a part of the business.  Now that he had not expected!  Not that they'd ever really had anything bad to say about gays as such, but he did know that they disapproved of homosexuality as all good Muslims did.  Maybe it had a lot to do with having to work with him and therefore taking a pragmatic attitude.  They were nothing if not pragmatic, realising that in order to make their lives easier it was simply better to turn a blind eye to much of what went on outside their front door, especially when what was going on appeared to their co-workers and neighbours perfectly normal.

Christian.  He liked that, suited him, never known anyone called that before.  And he had a great physique, he'd noticed that almost immediately, trying to keep the surprise off his face when they'd been introduced.  He was so obviously gay, openly so, that it had thrown him a little until he'd found a way to adjust to him.

The fear, of course, had been that he'd somehow be able to suss him out right from the outset, but that didn't seem to be the case – no secret look, no veiled remarks.  He treated him like any other colleague, pretty much the same way he treated everyone else he came into contact with and on one hand this pleased him while on the other hand it miffed him greatly.  He'd always been a big hit whenever he'd ventured into gay circles – discreetly, of course, and often under protest – so to see this guy show no interest in him was a little ego-deflating.  Well that's what he allowed himself to think in his more foolish moments.  The fact was he wanted to give the impression of being completely off-limits, completely uninterested in anything other than a working relationship, so Christian was actually doing him a big favour!

The only problem was that it was a little like a red rag to a bull, in that this evident indifference made him want to bait him, want to make Christian interested, make him want him.

He knew he was being a fool to himself, about to play a very dangerous game, but seeing him every day simply made the curiosity and the egotistical urge to have this guy want him, look at him with that look in his eye all the more intense.

So, how to make Christian want him without getting stung in the process?

Or maybe he should simply find a way to live with it, live with never satisfying that urge, that curiosity...

Yeah, he'd work with him, act straight, act.... like a friend?  Could they be _friends_?

Absurd to imagine being friends with a gay man!  How the hell had he run from one mess straight into the arms of another potentially greater one?

If he knew one thing for sure it was that you had to keep it off your doorstep.  

So why was he finding it so necessary to keep _reminding_ himself of that?


End file.
